After millennia of badassery and intergalactic adventures, the infamous robot pirate BlackWire-Space Booty Hunter has finally hung up his eye-patch. Now, with a fresh new moniker, “Yumwalla,” he’s embarked on a new quest: seeking out the galaxy’s most elusive treasure. The perfect bite.

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His home planet, nestled in the oOgala Nebula, has just one restaurant, BunJam and frankly, it’s terrible. So naturally, they set their sights on the tastiest place in the cosmos: Earth, where food is abundant and the music is even better.

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“At first, I planned to review them all; I was going to award 1, 2, or 3 Astronauts if you’re delicious, or 1, 2, or 3 Uranuses if you disappoint. But then I remembered my mother’s advice: ‘Never speak ill of anyone.’ So here’s the plan: you won’t find any lackluster restaurants here; I just won’t write about them. This space is only for the places and bites that have moved me with stories, true intention and of course, taste!

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After a lifetime of taking, this is my way of giving back. I hope my words bring you joy, I hope you love the merch, and I hope you eat, cook, and love however, wherever, and whatever you want. XOXO.”